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Top Five Most Bizarre Amazon.com Christmas Gifts

November 19, 2009

We all have that one family or friend who is impossible to shop for. They’re the ones who either have everything or respond, “You don’t have to get me anything” when you ask what they’d like for Christmas. For that hard-to-buy-for person in your life, we’ve taken the guesswork out of the process, and compiled our own list. These gifts are sure to be a hit, or at least it is guaranteed that the recipient won’t have a duplicate stuck in the back of the sock drawer.

5. Jl421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank:
The gift that will automatically make you the best gift-giver ever. How many people will wake up Christmas morning to find a tank waiting for them? Absolutely none! For $19,999.95 (plus shipping and handling) you can change all of that. This Badonkadonk kicks some serious booty with speeds up to 40 mph on 6hp Tecumseh unleaded fuel. Our suggestion is to keep the cool factor high by keeping the “I’m a proud parent of . . . ” bumper stickers off the tank. While the neighbor down the street stares at their new, be-ribboned Lexus, you’ll be staring at your brand new tank. Who’s cooler now?


4. Roswell Soil Sample:
If you can’t fool ’em with dirt from your own back yard, go for the real deal. For all the Area 51 enthusaists, here’s something to put alongside the Berlin Wall brick you purchased back in 1989. Saving you the trip, the hassle of military interrogation and possible alien abduction, you can purchase an authentic soil sample from Roswell. This product also comes with a Certificate of Authenticity, so you know it has to be legit. The perfect gift for the Weekly World News afficionado.


3.UFO Detector:
Thousands can attest: those pesky U.F.O.’s always get in the way of a good desert road trip. Wouldn’t you like to know in advance if one were in the area? Know someone who’s worried that their little boy might be kidnapped by interstellar visitors? Push aside that dish with the mountain carved from mashed potatoes– E.T’s phoning home! This handy U.F.O Detector will warn you of your next close encounter! Through the miracle of moden technology (and one 9v lithium battery), the recipient will have advance notice of any extraterrestrial activity in the area. This gadget, along with the Roswell Soil Sample,  is sure to be quite the conversation piece at any party. Until it goes off.


2.Laptop Steering Wheel Desk:
Let’s say you’re on your way to work and you want to check the stock market. Or you’re cruising along the freeway knowing that an important email may be waiting for you. For the special (or maybe not so special) loved one in your life, you can purchase the Laptop Steering Wheel Desk. Use it for your laptop or lunch on the go. Surfing the web while making a U-turn has never been more fun or adventurous. We can only hope there’s enough room to rest your cell phone. If you can hear Billy Mays screaming in your head, don’t worry, we hear him, too.


1.Uranium Ore:
I love seeing folks glow when they receive that special gift. Every holiday there’s always that one present that radiates the spirit of the season. To go along with your brand new Geiger Counter, or if you just need that extra boost to get your DeLorean back to 1985, Amazon will sell you containers of radioactive uranimum ore. Purchase one or purchase enough to recreate your own Three Mile Island in the privacy of your living room. The post office must love dealing with this stuff and you will too! It’s the gift that’s perfect for the nuclear family.


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